Found Poetry.

I took this out of one of my pieces called “Letters to Skylar” and decided to make a found poem out of the first letter. Here it is.

I’ll love you forever if you take the time to read it and tell me what y’all think. Sorry it’s so long.

I find a deep majesty in the feeling of despair,
I feel it’s the most beautiful when it’s in cold hard words.
Like the saddest songs are the ones the hit the deepest,
Not the upbeat poppy ones.

I was informed of your departure today. 
It shall take place when the leaves turn rust-colored 
and the daylight ages quickly
and the grass doesn’t seem so bright anymore.
But right now the flowers are vibrant,
and the air smells of fresh laundry
and the ground smells of petrichor 
and the sky is the bluest of the blue. 
And I’m sitting in my room with this notebook propped on my lap
filled with all these contradicting emotions, 
as the rest of the world sways and still moves on. 

I’m replaying today like an old record player
over and over again.
Your eyes lit up like blue sparks crackling out of a fire,
your arms outstretched above your head
as if in mid-jumping jack formation, 
your smile set into that oh so gorgeous half smile 
that makes me melt into a puddle of emotion.
Your lips form the words “I got accepted!”
And for a split second I want to drop my beaten up textbooks
and throw my arms around you,
except just then I remembered you dislike hugs
so I settle for a solid high five. 
I faintly remember shouting 
“congratulations!” above my inner turmoil.

I was happy for you right?
Of course I am.
It’s just…it’s just…

You’re gonna be so far away. 
And that’s what’s causing this hurricane 
to bubble under the surface,
and that’s what’s opposing this ecstasy 
that your year long dream is coming true.
You’ll be among the mountains,
so if I ever yell your name from across the prairies 
it’ll bounce off the peaks 
and all you’ll hear is a distant hum,
like the sound of wind chimes hanging on a distant doorway.
And I’ll be so damn miserable, 
Skylar,
because this city is so ugly 
and it’ll be so much more so 
when you board that train and 
travel between those mountains 
with its wide valleys 
and its crumbling cracks in its ancient rock.

And I’ll be here in this dead city, 
with its dead leaves falling onto my nostalgic head,
and translucent frost resting on my toes. 
And I’ll gradually forget what you said
I’ll forget what you did,
But I’ll never forget
The way you made me feel.